"Why do I want to be famous?"

She asks incredulously?

"I haven't the foggiest," she replys to herself. Why do people respond to those of stature in such a manner? Why must we know every detail about a persons life, whom we know nothing about? Literally nothing. There are great amounts of coin, time and bumbling idiots absolutely wasted on determining who's humping who, who looks better in an identicaly overly priced sweater, and who hates and is fighting whith whom on an hourly basis. It makes me quite ill. Yet, I want to be a part of it. No that can't be right...I can't imagine someone choosing this life let alone wishing for it. So what the hell is it that I actually want. I mean we spend ridiculous amounts of everything invested in people we have never spoken to nor seen in the flesh and all they have done to deserve such obsession is that they have entertained our meager imaginations for a few fleeting hours. Disgusting. It's not like I go to the circus and follow Mifty, Nifty, or Cornstarch the Clown around with drool hanging off the side of my face. Bruce Willis is not really an action hero in reality. He may wander around drunkenly beating on people but this does not a witty and handsome action star make. So why do these entertainers on the big screen, not offering much more than a cheap thrill at a resonable price hold such sway over the populace? Yes they are our much more attractive and wealthy counterparts, but they're still just people with fears and questions. They have relationship issues and family feuds. So why do we, no, why do I want that lifestyle? Perhaps when I was younger I longed for fame because it was magical. That world could offer me the world. Now, I see that world as the repulsive, irritating and useless monster it truly is. Maybe it's not the fame that drives me. Perhaps it's the money. I love money. I have a great relationship with money. What's wrong with admitting that I want to be rich. Wait, stinking rich. Nope...fucking rich. I want people to look at me and say, "That chick is fucking rich." I don't even need people to say or think it actually, scratch that. I just need to know it. Maybe, it's the power. I kinda want the kind of power that cannot be stripped from me by obscene spending. This power of agency is formidable, but eventually comes to an end...usually abrupt and destructive. So if I want true power, and I don't want to have to worry bout how my hair looks with my disgustingly priced cashmere tubetop...than what is it that I want? A big fish in a little pond might be nice. Copious amounts of coin might also be nice...and the time to do it all. A little travel, nope a lot of travel. Someone who loves me and so on. So, maybe pursuing a lifestyle that seems so plastic and artificial is not the best idea I've had. Afterall I don't need constant reassurance of my talent drenched awesomeness by those bumbling idiots I so detest. Maybe getting paid to do what i love would make loving what I do more difficult, nay impossible. Perhaps keeping them separate would allow for less pressure and more love. No worry about ticket sales, just that people appreciate what i bring to them and come back for more. Afterall, Cornstarch needs a hand with his back-flip-twisty-doodle and Nifty has been way too over the big-top lately.

Where have all the people gone?

I understand technology. I love technology. There are days however, when I truly believe in the deepest recesses of my heart that we would be better off with less; Less information, less doo-dads to busy our constant thoughts, less security and more honesty. I wish the world could exist as it did a few years ago, cept without the ignorance and hostility. I want to live in an environment where people still meet face to face. We can hear a persons voice and view their facial complexities. With so much information at our very fingertips all hours of the day, we've lost sight of what's important and what it takes to exist as a fully functioning peaceful society. I spend endless hours on computers, cell phones, ipods that sometimes I think I've lost sight of the fact that there are people in my life that I would like to touch base with instead of viewing there facebook page and piecing together what little clues they infer about themselves. Perhaps it's just the tools I am using specifically that drive me to distraction or it's the fact that on an average day, I hardly relate to any human beings at all. I can carry out the smallest most menial tasks by way of the internet that nearly send me spinning...if I were to truly stop typing for a second to think about it. I could order a pizza, pay for it and consume it through a virtual feeding tube(patent pending) and all of this would be carried out by cyberspace with little to no human contact. I miss the human touch. I miss a time when we were forced to leave our homes cuz that damn china hutch wasn't going to come to me dammit! I must admit we truly have it fucking made. With so much technology to free up our lives, we have a helluva lot of time to think. I now have time to ponder my place in this world and if I really matter. Some heavy topics have surfaced which render me often quite incapacitated. I don't mind being intelligent and tackling these thoughts but I have so much goddamn time on my hands, it's all I fricken do! Once upon a time, we had to work to survive...literally. We had to perform so many tasks just to create a tasty spread for our freshly baked bread that we had no time to complain, covort, or contemplate things beyond our capability of understanding. Things are advancing so rapidly, that soon we won't require the human touch on much. I'm not saying we should impede progress, all I want is to look at something still while I'm spinning round to prevent me from holding true to what's real and what is relevant. I want a human being to answer the phone when I call my bank. I want a human being to read from his national best seller surrounded by a group of fellow sponges instead of reading the bloody thing on the internet. Something has to be said for the human quality. Technology has progressed to such an extent that my life is incredibly simple. At the touch of a button I could talk to my sister half way across the country, or make an atom bomb. We could save the economy by using less technology and more people. Lets do away with the back hoe and the bob cat and bring back the fucking shovel. I appreciate how easy my life is, but is it really? People these days may live longer because of our technological advances/breakthroughs...but we have more stress, more heart disease and more worry than we ever have before....What should I do with my life? Where should I live to maximize the quality of existence? Who should I be with? Why am I here? If a tree falls in the forest...blah blah blah. If I had a set role and my life was about staying alive and living as best I could for a few years, wouldn't we all be much happier? Our childrens lives would have purpose and so on and so on. Right now our children walk into their schools to be greeted by metal detectors and armed men collecting nail files. Is it that society is too advanced for the creatures that dwell within it, is it that parents are not present, is technology forcing children to live beyond their ages? beyond their means? I want a life I can be proud of, but how can that exist if I can't find my place in this mess of wires and keyboards? Our options are endless and therein lies the heart of the issue. How are we a liberated and intelligent society when we couldn't function if our computer crashes and our cell phone dies? We are not so far from happiness...we just need a reminder once in a while of how life should be lived...not viewed vicariously on a screen, in the dark, at our moms house.