Thursday, June 16, 2011
Grass Does Not Need You, To Be Green
We have a great many folly, we the people. None more so than our tendencies towards gluttony and selfishness. I believe these two detrimental qualities make excellent bedfellows. As a result, the butt sex the two have feverishly been partaking in, has created a new breed of awful with an insatiable hunger which permeates our society and makes us look like real dicks...not unlike the butt baby's which possess several oozing beef bayonets...on it's skull. We waste a lot of resources in the west: Food, materials, life, time, each other and now it's come to my attention, though under my nose for years, that what we abuse the most may soon be gone forever. There are people in the world, this world, who do not have water to drink. They do not have direct access to clean drinking water. I repeat: They do NOT have water to drink...let alone water to shower with, wash clothes in, dump down the drain when the temperature does not suit us and most aggravating of all, water to throw on the ground. We have such an attitude of entitlement that our grass is graced with hours of preening while our resources run thin and most go without. Is status so essential in our world that our grass must represent fertility and extravagance at the cost of lives and eventual survival? Do those people who water every day not think about what they throw away on foliage that does not require us to thrive? Water will run out. This is not a theory or some happening in the distant future, but an axiom of anxiety. There are far too many of us to support our need for H2-is-O and the water we do still occupy, we pollute with our other "necessities". The earth would provide all we would ever need if we only cease to fuck with it. I think about how much I waste on a daily basis...in the shower, washing the dishes...welcome to my brain of dysfunctional and perhaps irrational worry. What boggles my mind is how no one else seems to think this way. Maybe we all have that white picked fence version of how we want the world to be...kids frolicking in the sprinkler while mom sips ice filled pina colladas on the porch while running the washer, the dishwasher and dad sponges off the Cadillac. Well, we lived that and look where we are now. Those who go without must think us most ridiculous for we throw our precious life source on weeds to impress our friends and maintain the futility that is our societal (and imaginary) hierarchy of horror. If the rest of you questioned your actions as often as I do mine, perhaps we wouldn't be up shit creek without water to rinse off the stank.
Sunday, June 5, 2011
Honk On Bobo
Please people, try to understand...I am balancing precariously on two slender tires, moving at variable and often intense speeds...racing through confined spaces, competing for room with the immovable force that is a tonne of metal in various shapes, sizes and velocity's...sometimes zooming under poor lit and deafening overpasses. I am trying not to lose my cool let alone my life when vying for a fraction of the space these gas guzzlers insist on utilizing, so I plead and ask ever so nicely...DO NOT FUCKING HONK YOUR IMMENSELY DISTRACTING AND OVERBEARING HORNS AT ME WHILE ATTEMPTING TO CUT ME OFF AT SPEEDS THAT WOULD ELEVATE MY PANCAKE-ED-NESS(?) TO FULL. I do not believe I ask for much. I am not a selfish person (most days). All I long for is a tiny piece of the road to get from A to B without having the living shit scared from my bowels because you can't bear the thought of waiting 30 seconds for me to move past or fall behind. Why is the western world in such a hurry? We eat without savoring, we love without patience, we wish our days away-demanding something ever better, and we drive like the destination is chasing us with fire and brimstone. I crossed a MARKED crosswalk yesterday. I was even courteous enough to remove myself from my mode of transport, making my intentions unmistakably clear. As I crossed the pavement, my ipod came undone from its holster and clamored to the ground. Instead of waiting the 3.3 seconds it would have taken me to bend down and retrieve it, an SUV demanded it's right to speed on, refused to slow down, narrowly missing me. I jumped to the sidewalk for safety and the cocksucker, self important, environment destroying, oblivious manipulator of metal and fiberglass that outweighed me and my rockin cycle by, oh I don't know, several thousand pounds...proceeded to drive over my device without blinking an eye all the while exclaiming to it's passenger how I shouldn't be on the road. Where should I be? Riding the sidewalks gets you a ticket and pedestrians screaming at you to get on the provided bike trails, though exceptional in Calgary, do not get you to the shopping mart or liquor store. Riding the bustling mean streets could get you killed because cars do not give you the respect nor the space required to safely maneuver the jungle of our "git er done" obsessed existence. So where does that leave those who refuse to rely on gas operated death machines? I choose cycling cuz it's great exercise, it's cheap, and I think living in a metropolis with everything in such close proximity negates the apparent necessity of a vehicle...and it's environmental implications, blahblahblah. Why such little tolerance for those who choose better, smarter? Does a vehicle give those a sense of value that using your own physical means cannot? Are we so lazy and swaddled in our demand for efficiency and immediacy that we've forgotten that taking a little longer to get somewhere may serve us in the long run? Serve us in a capacity that sustains a heart and soul with pride and patience? We will never be happy if the speed in which we accomplish a task is the only goal set. Our contentment levels will continue to plunge if beating our last time is the only place where our priorities reside. Oh, and my ipod did indeed survive the haste of the SUV...this time.
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
One IS the Loneliest Number
My stupor aside, I have come to one conclusion regarding the human psyche...we are not solitary beings. We, like so many other species, enjoy grouping together. We group, we gripe and we go our separate ways, only to cluster another day. I have spent the last three days completely alone. Not altogether awful, as I have learned to enjoy my own company and the thoughts that most others try to escape from, I have gathered that gatherings are solely based on fear and insecurity. Though I long for the day of instigating my own "get togethers", you people are all full of shit. I anticipated quiet evenings out, making sweet sweet love to my chicken wings and pints of golden glory, but came upon something else indeed: Non-stop chatter of nothing that goes nowhere. Where do the smart people hang? Why is it so difficult to find stimulating and meaningful convo amidst the drunken masses? Therein lies the rub...smart people don't get wasted and speak of little for they have intelligent and stimulating conversations in secluded areas where the dullards aren't likely to tread. Perhaps I am too hard on humanity...or perhaps everyone is not hard enough on themselves. Seriously people, do you have any idea how absurd you sound? I may be all alone at my table scarfing down fried goodness and inhaling hoeegarden like no ever has, but my thoughts about the greatness of my meal are far more interesting to the world than the shit you've come up with. And I'm the single one? Ugh. I am going to get a dog. At least when I speak to him about deeper things his eyes will meet mine and although his understanding may not be all encompassing, he'll get that something more exists than gossip and bitching. Oh, how I long for those puppy eyes of seemingly vacancy yet depth beyond my wildest ramblings. Boys are easy to train in these methods, but they talk back with the nonsense I attempt to abstain from. Perhaps I shall attempt a coup of my brain and just drink it to retardation...then I'll fit in. Do I truly desire acceptance? Or just a partner in crime to ignore the nonsense and exchange knowing looks across a patio table set in the sunshine consumed by beer and chicken wings? Mmmmmm, beer and chicken wings...
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