Dear Parents,

You are fucking up big time.  No exclamation point, no underline...fact...period.  Keep in mind that these facts come from someone who has never experienced being an active parent but has witnessed what it takes to raise two girls by ones' self and nurture/torture them into two pretty kick-ass women.  My mother is the most intelligent, gifted, powerful woman I know and I couldn't have asked for a more well rounded upbringing.  I never wanted for anything, I grew up with morals, grounding and common sense.  This shit cannot be taught, but instilled.  The reason I write to you, dear parents, is that you are trashing the foundation that people like my mother laid.  Allow me to elucidate...

I met a girl today.  Mid twenties.  We chatted for a bit and all seemed well until I dug just that little inch deeper to the real juice...the kind that accidentally squeezes from your butt cheeks when you are completely relaxed and had Subway a few hours prior.  (I had unhappy pants today...fuck you e coli laced spinach.)  She's going to business school, in her fourth year, and her mother makes lunch for her every single day.  Twenty four and living at home.  She knew the onslaught of taunts was coming so she injected a quick, 'BUT, I live in the basement and have my own entrance' ploy which wasn't about to hinder me in any regard.  She went on to say that she's ever so grateful for her mom everyday and blah-de-blah-da...of course you are, she cuts the damn crust from your sandwich every morning you fucking suckling piglet of shame.  Further on into the conversation...the 'apartment' she has in the basement for which she pays no rent for...she also admitted to like an idiot...has no kitchen or bathroom so she uses the facilities of the home which is not of her possession.  Um, that's called a bedroom wench.  I do my best not to choke her out and continue to ask some questions...you know standard stuff like what are you going to school for, is it difficult to balance work life with tuition amounts...'OH, my parents pay for my schooling.'  I tried not to look shocked but my jaw fell a little.  You're twenty something, living at home, your mother makes you food daily, you don't pay rent or any bills of any kind and your bachelors degree is paid for.  'Uh, well I pay for my books...books are way expensive.'  You think I'm being jealous, don't you?  Um, fuck yes I'm jealous...jealous that she has it so fucking easy in an increasingly expensive world... but then another feeling began to creep up my spine...disgust.  I was truly disgusted that this individual had no concept of what it meant to be an individual.  Another welp scurried over from the dredges of the building and shouted, 'What's wrong with living at home!?  My mom cleans my room and does my laundry for me!'  Dear God, they're everywhere....
I tried to explain to her that in the animal kingdom, from which we came and most still reside, every animal at some point leaves its family to make its own.  Every little birdie must leave the nest and fly or fall to the fucking ground.  I attempted to woo her with the freedom of it all, the independence,  the allure of pissing with the door open...all pursuits to open her eyes and release her were unsuccessful.. Worse, her succubus friend exacerbated matters as they bonded over how much their 'rents still do for them.

So here we are Parents.  You're creating life sucking monsters who do nothing but take, receive and refuse to give back for it may inconvenience them somehow.  I am inconvenienced on the daily and it has made me a strong-willed, successfully motivated, grounded, thoughtful individual.  How will these people be when they do finally get out into the big bad world?  Will they siphon off every valuable resource because that's how you taught them to behave?  There will be no respect or thoughtful introspection about what to and what not to purchase, as the money comes from mommy and this black leather Prada thingie that is slung over her arm.  Will they have no compassion for those less off because they've always had it all?  Will they ever understand what it means to fall?  To get up?  How will their growth as people be measured if they only have your eyes and wallet depths to measure up to?  How will these 'takers' ever learn to only take what they need and not what they want?  Forbearance will be lost to the ages as dignity wanes, spurred by the notion that success is not measured by effort but by ownership.  How will this broken system of ours ever change if you continue to wash the hands of those responsible for getting dirty and changing it?  If the millennial's behind me have no concept of struggling to carry their groceries home, or making their own food, or cleaning up after themselves, how will the world suffer in the wake of these taking animals?  If the lunchroom at work is any indication, where no unseen slaving mother exists to take care of it all, we are so fucked.