My Phone Rang Today

My phone rang today and it had been so long since it had done such a thing that I didn't even recognize it and nearly missed the call.  It was just the salon confirming my appointment.  Weird how use to things a person can become.  I got use to you pulling away.  The more you did, the more I wanted.  You came back from your big weekend abroad and said, 'I left with the hope of meeting someone else.'

That killed me.

So after death I walked around with shutters on;  Pretending I was happy and with someone who felt the same.  I get that I'm a part of this.  I just wish I was privy to the knowledge earlier on that we weren't happening.  Why didn't you confide in me that it wasn't happening for you?  Why do people do that?  If you had been straight with me instead of distancing yourself until I felt like I was the darkest one, most if not all of this heartache could have been alleviated.  Why can we not be honest with one another?  What kept you from being honest with me?  Not wanting to hurt me only drew the pain closer to the surface.  Now I'm raw and alone...not for long.

I'm beginning a new experiment.  I know not of his name but that he seems kind and enjoys to walk.  You hated walking but obliged me for whatever reason.  I'm sick of being obliged.  You like it or you don't.  You like me or you don't.  There is no grey area anymore.  This is my goal.