So They Give Us A Day

A co-worker came up to me this morning while I was performing a job he was suppose to be doing while making 73.5 cents less than him on every dollar and said, "Happy International Women's Day!"  His big stupid grin was about to fade and fade it did.

I proceed to enlighten the boy on the plight of women as I have known it.  I barely know it.  Let's be real.  I face a lot of shit on a daily basis from the opposite sex but others face a helluva lot more.  I realize I am more in the moderate center of the shit sandwich spectrum when it comes to thwarting daily catcalls, sexism, judgement(from both sexes), sexual assault, rape, being molested on trains while sleeping(that happens all of the time)...etc.  I don't deny that I have a pretty cozy existence living in Canada with Trudeau and his parity government.  I do however need to remind those who say stupid shit and have a penis.  I believe what he was trying to accomplish was to seem progressive by touting the feminist line...but it made me so fucking angry I wanted to punch him in his stupid man-boy face.

After schooling the child somewhat, dropping the mike and walking away...I felt bad.  Fuck me.  I felt bad.  Then I summoned my female compatriots who have dealt with way more stupid shit than I and I said 'NO.'  I will not apologize for getting pissed off.  I will not apologize for being 'bitchy' about a seemingly harmless comment.  I will not feel bad for teaching someone to use their head before saying stupid nonsense for which they know nothing about.  I will be grateful that I possess empathy and move the fuck on.  And!  I will not torture myself over how He's feeling after the fact.  Guess what?  He apologized to me later on in the day.  His tone was a tad passive aggressive with a hint of sulk.  Fuck him.  And then I told him so.  I stated that you don't have to be sorry that you brought up Women's Day;  It just sucks that it exists.  It's like we were given a day once a year to soothe our upheavals and discontent to prevent us from uprising off of our backs and out of the kitchen.

I told him that this day created over one hundred years ago is meaningless.  Women can't get an education without fear of being raped...by someone they most likely know.  In a great deal of countries, women are not even allowed to get educated in the first place and their fear of rape comes from taking the daily dirt path to retrieve water for their family.  Acid is still a tool used on a women's face to keep her at bay and under control.  Aboriginal women, well...just don't be an Aboriginal women because you're not considered a fucking person by the current standards of our absurd society.  Abortions are still illegal in six nations under any circumstances.  Women are still seen as the weaker and more feeble sex when it comes to many occupations that we potentially could attain and thrive in but would be harassed incessantly and paid far less if we were to take on said roles(the law is one such example where women are fleeing for their lives to maintain their sanity/dignity/integrity).  I could go on but now I'm just exhausting myself with how little we've truly accomplished since suffrage and the inception of our very own day once a year!

 I read this article today about how we need to take stock as women on this day of days in regard to how far we've come and how far we still need to go.  How about not putting up a Google Doodle where all of the women are merely wishing and hoping and ONE FUCKING DAY-ING that their lives will be better, equality will exist and that they can actually achieve a dream so unrealistic as playing in Major League Baseball.  One day Google, one day.  This is what we've accomplished?  It's not, I am playing in the Major Leagues, I am owning my own laboratory, I am Jane fucking Goodall talking to the Pope on environmental issues.  It is: Someday, if a society owned and operated by men will allow me to do more than dream about accomplishing things I care about and I haven't died of sepsis from giving birth to my rape baby...than yes, I will achieve shit.  Aggggghhhhhhhh!  This is not progress.  This is placating fifty one percent of the population of the earth!... so that things remain exactly as they are.  And let's keep in mind ladies that in order to play in the Major Leagues, all of the men in your country must be making war overseas(has Geena Davis taught us nothing!?), if you do manage to own your own laboratory, the lab coats are purely for show as your sexy lingerie covering your bargaining tool and assets(like what I did there?)are really the reason behind you owning property in any way and lastly...the only reason Goodall wants to speak to the Pope on the environment is to keep her primate butlers sated so that they may, in turn service all of her needs.  Yeah, I said it.  Jane Goodall is a monkey fucker.    

Fuck this day.  Fuck Google, their Doodles, and the measly eighteen percent of women they employ(as of 2015).  Fuck Jane Goodall.  Wait!  I take that last one back because she's amazing.  (I apologize infinitely regarding my unsavory monkey fucker comment.)  Fuck anyone who takes this day any differently than how they'd normally do.  For me that means, squeezing into the sliver of a space in a seat the man next to me has allowed room for with his legs spread massively wide for his nonexistent giant balls.  Doing 'man's work' and getting paid far less for it while the men wile the day away with coffee and smoke breaks.  Having male customers call me 'Little Lady' and then asking if there are any men around they can speak to about their pressing gardening needs.  Speaking to the delivery dude who informs me that he needs the Shipper/Receiver to sign for his delivery and "Is it that guy over there standing by the truck?", while I'm standing in Shipping and Receiving, wearing a fucking name-tag.  Then to experience my fellow male employees throughout the day referring to me as either "The Bitchy One on her monthly" or "Sweetheart/Hunn/Sweet Cheeks", depending on how I respond that day to their idiotic queries.  Then to travel safely home while I get rubbed up on, on the train not crowded enough for that shit...to finally walk the hill while a homeless dude slurs in my face "How MUUUCCCHHHH," with his drunken spittle grazing my cheek and finding haven in my eye.  Fuck this day.

Is it a Culture Thing?

I recently watched repelled, as a woman clipped the fingernails of her three children on the bus.  I was so thoroughly disgusted I could hardly contain myself.  Contain I did.  I knew she wasn't hurting anyone, 'cept for the poor bastard  that had to clean all of the repulsive child nail clippings from off the floor.  Or the next person that sits in those seats and is forced to pull nail shards out of their pants after their bus ride.  Seriously, this is not the place for grooming.  We are no longer in tree tops, cleaning each other based on hierarchy and gender.  We should not be bonding with one another through the grooming rituals of our fury ancestors by pulling off protein pieces that protrude from the tips of our fingers.  Why this woman felt the need to preen her spawn in public on the busy bus on a Friday afternoon is so beyond me.  Could you not find the time at home?  Is this how you keep your little monsters from running a muck? You must literally hold their grubby mitts while you snap off pieces of keratin coated dirt chunks?  The fingernails were all over the floor, the seats and the children.  The entire family seemed completely at ease with this act.  It was as though they were bonding over nauseating the rest of the passengers...if they had the awareness to notice.  They didn't even realize anyone else was paying attention.  They were in their own little tree top, high above in their canopy with a floor created by crunchy nail collections and filth.  Why was this a thing I needed to witness?  Albeit they weren't causing direct harm to anyone but why on the fucking bus?  I clip my nails over the garbage in my bathroom.  Have you ever gotten a nail sliver?  It's not fun.  That shit is there to protect your juicy underparts and than to be discarded promptly when they piss you off while masturbating...er...or at work.  Yes, while working.  I guess I should be grateful the Alpha didn't bust out his feet for a little groom o' doom before my stop came.  Savages.

Day One

I don't want to be the one
who counts my days
down to none.
To be the only
person
on this planet
so sad and very
lonely.  I sometimes
can't muster the
strength to go to
any length of change
or growth, to be
without remorse or
shame.  I am doomed
to roam alone,
fulfillment rings its
empty tone.  I shall
not know what keeps
me going.  Perhaps it's
not what's in the knowing
but what the journey has
to offer.
Pretend!  They say,
while they cram
full the coffer.

Avoid Eye Contact

I was uptown today to get an HIV/AIDS test.  I always get super paranoid when I'm newly single so don't be worried as tis merely a formality of my insanity.  I don't know why but I feel the need to be uber healthy and aware of said health when I'm not fucking anyone...weird, I know.  Anyhoo, so for my journey home I catch one of those little mini buses that hold many and drive like the devil.  I make eye contact with this woman who starts talking about the flowers out our window.  Usually, I avoid such contact.  People are fucking crazy and those that transit are to be kept at leg kicking lengths.  However, I was feeling lightheaded having just given blood and engaged.

She seemed to be a worldly woman of distinct attire.  Not odd distinct.  Kind of tasteful classic I'll say.  She had grey/silver hair and was wearing a moderate amount of heavy gold jewelry.  She had minimal makeup on but was quite strikingly pretty.  Not beautiful but a very handsome women indeed.  She mentioned the beauty of the cherry blossoms and asked me what my favorite springtime flower was.  I hesitated in thought, for why would I lie to a stranger and told her that I was fond of the crocus.  "Ah yes," She said knowingly.

From there she mentioned that the world doesn't take the time anymore to 'stop and smell the roses' as the saying goes.  She went on to say that, "We are so obsessed with what we don't have that we cannot fathom appreciating what we do."

I added, "We are indeed consumed by what our neighbors have."  I was fascinated by this woman's openness and thought to ask her take on the current situation we find ourselves in.

She said knowingly, "Television.  Television has ruined our civilization.  I divorced my first husband because he didn't match up to how Hollywood depicts a relationship should unfold.  He took care of the kids, changed diapers, washed walls and I didn't appreciate him or what I had because I was told there was something better.  I expected what others had and gave up being grateful for what was right in front of me."

This women, a total stranger to me on this shitty bumpy bus was bestowing upon me some very generous wisdom.  We all know this lesson but who of us needs to be reminded periodically to keep us on the path of internal growth and enlightenment?  Who of us needs a gentle nudge once in a while to hold true to what's important and say 'fuck it' to the other stuff?  This guy.  I thanked her for sharing and pulled the chord for my stop.  I must admit I wanted to chat more but you know how life and bus stops can get in the way of that.  As I walked the short distance to the door she said, "Every time I see a crocus, I'll think of you."  I waved and that was that.  A gorgeous moment between two people at very different stages in their lives, connecting over the shared experience of simply being alive.  I wanted to share this because I wasn't zoned into my phone.  I wasn't blaring music from my ever present head phones.  And I didn't avoid eye contact with a crazy lady talking about how beautiful the flowers outside our window were.  These are the moments we live for people...don't forsake their weight on your day or in your life.