I am keen to imbibe early and people watch. Have you tried? You should. It. Is. Incredible. I've seen so much in between the glass of vino, the pint of distasteful yet local beer and ginger cider.
I was witness to a man wearing full on B.C Lions garb masturbating at the train station. We don't need any more detail than this.
I watched three ladies sitting on a curb, one vomiting, while the other two carried on a perfectly logical conversation regarding the nights festivities and so forth. No offer was made to hold her hair or console her in the least. Fascinating. As though, this was part and parcel of a typical night.
I was privy to a young female walking so awkwardly as a result of her tortuous footwear that it made my heart bleed for her. Not unusual, unfortunately. I suggest we all unite thusly and toss our sadistic lower half contraptions into the bin so that they may wreak no more havoc on our lives. It ain't gonna happen but a girl can incite all the revolt she wants in written form!
I saw a man bring his German Shepherd puppy into a rock concert who proceeded to freak the fuck out due to the excessive amounts of noise. Dogs pick up sound four times better than humans you fucking waste. People this idiotic should not be allowed to procreate or adopt/purchase pets. Though you have the coin to do so, you should abstain if you be insensitive and fucking stupid.
I stared at a dude who was severely over weight, dressed all in black with a hood. He was carrying a Gucci bag on his fingertips as he walked rapidly down the street.
Then there was me...Pizza and pop in hand. There was sauce spread halfway across my cheek and a big ol' grin rolling yonder round my face. I was witness yet ever part of this charade we call Saturday night. What a time to be alive.
And all before 11 pm.
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