CULT LOGIC

Stephen Hawking has proved beyond a shadow of a doubt that there is no God.  Through mathematics, quantum physics and understanding the laws of nature, he has reached a conclusion we've been striving for since the dawn of man.  We are all alone.  There is no higher power, no deeper meaning...just us, the things we do or do not, and the people we love.  I'm not sure how this sits with me presently.  Immediately I was overwhelmed with sadness;  As though this great loss befell me...a death perhaps.  I thought about my past and how so many times I chose a path unbecoming of my motivations because I assumed a benevolent creator would have my back and remedy it all throughout my existence.  Such is not the case.  If their be not a creator of life, than an afterlife is also unrealistic.  So this is it.  We have 80 years or so on a planet thrust out into space and time to grow up, suffer and perish.  This may sound bleak to you but I feel largely liberated.  There is no destiny, no ordained path of choice that leads to an end which leads to a beginning.  I always felt as though I would have an infinite amount of time to accomplish what I needed to be fulfilled on all levels.  Now, once I'm gone, I'll be worm food and nothing more.  No romance, no cumulus nimbi to perch upon, no playing wiffle ball with Grandma while I meet my dad again.  This last revelation hurt my feelings a bit.  Not necessarily because I wouldn't see them again, but that I squandered the time available to me when they were an arms length away.  My grandmas' energy will never be in the form it was when I knew her...she's probably feeding the fish somewhere, and nor will mine.  So I ask, is eighty years enough to do what needs to be done?  If we don't waste it, certainly.  I always thought people who went to church and practiced some form of religion were weak(spiritually and mentally) and now I know for sure.  How ridiculous it seems now to put all hope, dreams, and power into the hands of an omnipotent farce.  I understand that people go through wretched times and perhaps believing in a higher power got them through...but if that fallacy was never put into play thirty thousand years ago(yeah, is anyone else disturbed by the fact that we haven't evolved past neolithic scribblings on cave walls?), what would these empty simpletons cling to?  Each other perhaps?  Or would we all find solace in science?  Knowing that I am the decider, the purveyor of my means to an end...comforts be beyond reproach.  Though my past may be filled with regrets, I can now choose differently.  I can choose.  It's not in the giant hands of some floating fart on a fluffy cloud, but in mine.  If my life goes unfulfilled, baron and cold, well that was my doing and no one elses'.  This is what disturbs me about rehabilitation .  If you want to do drugs, and drink liquor for your time on this planet, super.  You want to alienate those who love you most and destroy your humanity through drink or dope, have at 'er.  If you choose to get clean by means of surrendering yourself to a "higher power", you are severely fucked.  I can't believe you people(addicts and their co-conspirators/counselors) call your selfish excess a "disease" and then with fear driving your gluttony, throw yourself on the mercy of something that never has nor ever will exist to change your patterns of behavior.  All you've done is glamorize being a dick-hole by feeding excuses to those who've generated plenty through delusions and provided them with an easy out when they inevitably fail.  "God, let me down.  God has forsaken me.  God isn't listening."  Well, now you know how your loved ones feel about you.  We all make choices and without God as an excuse for our loathsome behavior, we're forced to look within at how terrible we really are.  Once you sift through that nonsense, maybe the shit underneath will be worth taking a look at.  I "pray" mine is.