Bill Pullman

It is truly remarkable to me how a few words of nonsense can bear so much weight.  Not the kind of weight that holds you back or carries you beneath the surface of oxygen and sunshine...but the kind that permeates your very being and gives life meaning.  sigh.  I hate this feeling.  The, "I am liberated and elated yet absolutely miserable"...one.  I could take flight and simultaneously sink to the very bottom of existence...lost there amongst the darkness and Sun fish.  I long, like no other...desperate for contact yet terrified of the repercussions.  Terrified.  Terror rules movement of mine at every juncture...what a joke I am.  I preach spontaneity, connectivity and meaning yet I refuse to emancipate myself from the bonds of fear and admittance.  Suffocating surely with the concealed creatures of the deep, I strain and squirm emitting fraudulence and frailty...I want to be one...with you.  I ask a lot and expect it all...anything else is every failure I've ever participated in.  Anxious over outcomes and occurrences, I push and pull then push again...how much can my fellow sea life take until a mass exodus erupts on my behalf and I yearn alone once more?  Perhaps the river is where i belong.  Moving currents of change and inconsistency.  Insecurities dissipate, love endures and longing lost to the flow.  The river brings me home regardless, thusly warped from experience.  I wish i had the words...ALL OF THEM.  I would give them to you upon kisses and unfettered fright.  We'll thrash about, only the other to maintain equilibrium until it makes sense in evolutionary degrees.  One monster of the deep grotesquely entwined, satiated...walls burnt to dust debris.