Sunday, April 28, 2013

Poopypants McBoogerson

Tis I!  I am thee!  I thusly spread my poopypants mcboogers all through the lands.  I am a thief of happy thoughts.  I am the darkness which enters in ever so slowly only to shield itself from discovery and then WHAMMMMM-Oooo!  I am an algorithm?  Am i timeless piece of history only because others say so?  Apparently....tiny yet even still....

I am reluctant towards most things.  I think I hate everything.  When did that happen?  When did I allow that, THAT to take over?  Take precedence.  I am not listening to the right shit, pardon et moi................I got homework from fucking work today.  What the fucking christ hell is that miserable bullshit?  Seriously, what?  Do people not understand that this job is not for me?  Can they not see that I DO NOT belong there?  I should be hissed at and spat upon post haste, shoved from out doorways immediately and cursed!  Fucking cursed.  What is wrong with our society that we have created a fucking occupation that requires us to not only stomach one another but the ingrates that frequent such establishments?  What have we done to the lower class?  They are slaves in green aprons and plastic smiles and hate in their hearts.  We don't need this brown putrid 'luxury'.  We don't this refined sugar and ingredients we cannot pronounce let alone synthesize in our own kitchens.  I need something more than this.  I need something that isn't lacking in soul and creativity.  We are automatons.  We are creepy units of mindless busywork so that we may distract the herd from their tragic little lives.  Why must I pretend everyday of my life?  Why?

I am in a new land.  Newold.  It's lonely here cuz I've forgotten how to meet decent people.  You have to sift through so many fucking duds, it's exhausting.  Crushing, even.

I forget why i do things.  Always in my head I am.  To the point of great confusion and occasional animosity.

I think I sprained my ankle on purpose so I wouldn't have to go to work at 5am.  I fell so weird and fucked myself up so bad....a little too bad?  Am I capable of that?  Of course it was fully subconscious if so...what possibilities.  Back to algorithms....I am a product of my past.  Google told me so.  My past choices have brought me thusly and I choose based on such.  If man can make a fucking program that does this, why would it be inconceivable that we're not controlled by the very mechanism that produced us?

Why do i miss things I once despised?  Why reverence when the moments passed?  Is it a simple, 'don't know what ya got til it's gone' type bullshit?  I'm much smarter than everyone I work with.  Without question.  Like, that's not even an ego boost....totally.  Ugh.

I have friends dammit.  They're far away.  

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