Dear Millennials,

Fuck You.

You truly are the worst generation.  I know every generation thinks that they are elite in their hatred for every other generation in existence...well I'm elite in hating my own.  Unfortunately I was born on the cusp of being apart of this ridiculous self-interested, wasteful bunch of entitled apathetic suck-faces.  You really are.  Suck-Faces to the ninth degree.  I have never been privy to such a useless bunch of assholes.  Seriously all of you may suck the proverbial dick.

I have never been cancelled on, ignored, forgotten about, or left behind by more millennials than any other grouping of people...ever.  I have made plans with these canker blossoms(thank you Shakespeare), only to be texted moments before the meet-up...'Um, I'm like totally caught up right now...rain check?'  A mere ten years ago, if you broke plans it's because you had something unavoidable happen like a flat tire or death.  Yeah, you had to die back in the day if you didn't meet up for coffee.  That's the way shit use to go down.  Now?  We have texting.  Instagram.  Twitter.  I can see your fucking picture on Facebook with you shaking hands with a local celebrity at the mall at the same time you were suppose to meet me for a beer you fucking fuck.  Most of the time I am not even allotted the courtesy of a 'can't make it' message.  Normally there's just nothing.  No communication at all.  Have we gotten so very lazy that even a text is too dreadfully time consuming?  Gross.

I like making plans.  It helps my brain and gives me something to look forward to.  Is our collective attention span so slight that this is no longer possible?  Do we scramble about attempting importance on our pocket computers, meanwhile skirting over the fact that we hate each other and ourselves.  I feel bad when I bail on someone.  Even worse when I space and miss an opportunity with friends or family altogether.  If something has seriously come up and you can't make it...cool.  Communicate then have a make up date in which the beers be on you.  We're all busy suck-face...your shit is no more important than mine.  Waiting is a fucking disease and I don't appreciate feeling like my time means somehow less because you were raised to only feed your selfish concerns.  Grow up or you'll be all alone in the growing old.