The Unicorn

It is brought to my attention on pretty much a daily basis that I have exceedingly far reaching expectations and standards when it comes to people I choose to care about. Is it though that I expect far too much or that people have become lazy, complacent, stubborn and provide far too little. Far too little effort, far too little of themselves and far too not fucking good enough. I want a man in my life who with his shiny, thick, and luxurious locks has the ability to sweep me off my feet at a moments notice, listen to me without hesitation and a glazed look to the eye(hey, I have interesting stuff to speak of), oozes confidence from every orifice, emanates maturity, stability and confidence, fears not the unknown and can stand beside me as an intellectual equal(if that's remotely possible). So all I want is everything I am in a dude...ahhh, the Unicorn. I don't think that's too much to ask. For those of you who don't ask for at least that, you're selling yourselves short. I declare as of this moment in space and time, that I shall never settle. I won't ignore potentially disastrous elements of a persons nature cuz "I like them". Nor will I attempt to rectify any personality traits I deem teeming with incongruity with my list above...you either have it or you don't. Why must we always be forced to choose one or the other? You can have the great guy but he has serious commitment, or stability, or financial, or maturity, or or or... issues? That's not so fucking great. I believe it is entirely possible to have it all. If I have the ability to look at myself, proclaim, hey...this is what's wrong with me so I am going to take great measures to fix it...why can no one else? How do you not see that you are totally fucked and should be alone to protect humanity from your inevitably fucked spawn? Lost people do not raise right offspring. Unless it's like eye color and the fucked gene can be somewhat repressed in like, oh I don't know, every other child. If you are fucked, you should be scarlet lettered. What right do you have to run around all willy nilly, making people fall in love with you and than announcing for all the world, "I AM FUBAR!" I want my unicorn and I will bide my time until the day comes when I can hop on that stupendous back side and ride him home to momma...who by the way, will instantly alert me to the fact that he's probably just an ass with a stick taped to his forehead.