F...F...F...FRIEND YOU!

It's been said that you can't choose your family and that's what makes a "friend" so goddamn special. You, through the magic of right time right space, connect with those who are interested in like things or find yourselves in positions that may not stimulate, but the bonds built are enough to sustain remaining in a specific place for perhaps, far too fucking long. There were times I thought I made splendid choices when it came to the people I surround myself with. Once again, I am learning otherwise. I have this friend...this friend named...Fucko. We've known each other for eight years. Long time in Rhandi Land as consistency is not one of my strong suits. He was supportive, funny, brilliant in a great many thing, and we got along so well it was sometimes scary. I've since moved from the town we once shared, a few times, but the effort was always there. We saw each other threw the worst of it all and always came out laughing and believing in life and love once more. For two years I was in a pretty nasty relationship(another incident of remaining far too fucking long) with a soul-sucking-life-leeching-mooching-monster. Fucko stuck around at the edge of the playground to make sure I was cool while I ripped around on the monkey bars, praying for the ensuing fall not to break me wide open. It did, like a rotten pumpkin hurled off the edge of a building, but it turns out the dismount was outstanding and the landing was stuck even with all the goo and chunks. Anyhow, Fucko was way supportive throughout and when the landing was complete, he swooped in with a sympathetic shoulder and beer. Well, my judgement not being razor sharp at the moment what with the catastrophic past looming over my pity party, we were intimate. Not to say that I didn't struggle with those feelings for him for years or that I just jumped in the sack immediately. He really put in some effort in a big way...saying all the right things at the exact right times and physically being there when I was my most drastically desperate. I never thought in a million years that my best friend would ever take advantage of me. He did. Once he had received what he wanted, weeks turned to months and I heard hide nor hair. Was he just biding his time, like eight bloody years, just to bang his best friend, check her off his "to do" list and move on? Fucko, you're a fucking fuck. So, slowly...always too fucking slowly, I start to realize that I have been used. When I needed a friend the most, he saw that and manipulated what we had to achieve his penis goals. Last night at one in the morning, I receive a text from him..."My current girlfriend has Chlamydia and I am getting tested tmrw. Just thought you should know as you were the last before her and boys can carry it for a while symptom free."

Sigh

So after months of no communication, I have written you off as a decent human being...the last one by the way on my checklist with lines scribbled over the rest, and you tell me not so coded, that you may have given me an STD cuz you refused to wrap it up, that you have a gf, hence the lack of, oh I don't know, FRIENDSHIP!...and I am only considered "the last" fuck you had on a very short list. I hope your fucking dick falls off you selfish mother fucker. I thought I was done being surprised and disappointed by people. Now I find new and degrading ways in which the people I've known for years can really screw you up. It's sad really. I know that the hurt and anger I feel now are at a certain level...and this level can only escalate to a far worse degree in order for me to feel again. I wish I could warn the world of you.