Happiness and Sunshine

Moohoohaha....fooled you fuckers!  I should stop calling my loyal and most studious fan base, fuckers.  You like it though don't you, fuckers?  yeah, you see how you scum.

'We should have broken up a year ago,' he says with a stern scowl.  This is how it is...and this is how it goes.    I did it.  again.  Fucked everything up and I have no one to blame.  That's the worst.  Well, and losing my best friend....that's bullshit too.  Don't fall in love people.  I will say it time and time again until breath fails me.    Something funny.  I miss touching him.  Ha.  Irony of being an awful human being sometimes is sooooo rich.

Don't you tell me what you think is right when you yourself exist only in shadows.  How do people DO this?  Is a blind eye turned at every turn?  Do you just give the fuck up?  Relent control;  A constant capitulation of silent cacophony?  Silent is right.  Be berry berry quiet....you'll scare the wabbit.  He never gets that goddamn hare.  An entire life wasted on hunting for something unattainable and most elusive.  I'm insane and it's your fault.  At least until I get a handle on shit.  Singledom is hard yet so much fucking easier.  I thought I was through with accessible.  Done with doubt.  Down with the apparent.

Does everyone need sympathy?  Am I capable of being empathetic?  I am with animals.  I thought this bird was hurt today and nearly strangled it attempting to 'save' it.  What you see is what you get.  I never hid myself.  Loving is simple when you're in different time zones.  You're single until every third months second weekend and then the loneliness is assuaged by copious drink, drug, fuck and fight.  You know, love?

Why does eating a banana make your teeth furry?

I do my best to live moment to moment.  Sometimes my brain says nonono, time to be sad.  Let us think on sadness.  Sometimes i get stuck there.  Sometimes i choose to remain there with my little unhappy head friends.  I always come back.  I didn't always have these issues.  I wasn't always so angry.  There was a time when I gave freely with no expectation of return on my investments.  Now.  Now, i exist in hesitation in a darkened room alone.  If I despise being alone so much why am i SO keen on making that my reality?  Questions are good.  Yes questions.  Soothing really that I will always have those to keep me company.  Oh, and musical genius.  Grateful for that too.  And birds.  I like birds.