Dear Millennials...Part Deux

Ugh...where do i even begin?!?

"Rhandi, this is Latisha...she's recently single."

"Hey."

"Yeah, like...it was totally recent the single thing.  I just really need to do Me right now.  Ya know?  Like I just need to do me."

Oh?  And what exactly are you doing to you that is so revelatory/engrossing/beneficial?  Are you doing you and curing cancer?  Are you doing you while solving the energy/water/food/pick one crisis?  Are you adding anything to society while basking in your simultaneous pursuit of soul searching? Have you determined how many fists can fit into your vagina so we can move on now?  I remove myself from this generation whole-fucking-heartedly.  I want nothing, NOTHING to do with you assholes.  I keep hearing this common theme amongst ya'll...you need to do you.  YOLO.  Whatever.  I hate all of you.  You care not for one another.  You care not for the world at large.  You care for your next high, your next blow job and your next text.  I can't count how many times I've been told by people of a certain age to forget everyone and everything and 'just do you'.  It's like a terrible, antisocial NIKE ad gone horrifically wrong.

I had to keep three millennials entertained for the evening after that initial ridiculous and inane conversation and it was, to say the least, taxing.

I kept them centered on themselves, their own experiences and off their cellphones...which was a fucking feat.  I deserve a medal, or more beer at the very least.  I introduced a drinking game that quickly grew to be very dirty, very rapidly.  I would have rather been alone having an orgasm than to have faked my way through this evening of posturing.  So boring.  And we were talking about sex!  How sex could be so boring and empty I do not know, but it really was.  They were grossly entertained and involved.  I was half asleep.

However!  I call the evening a victory because each and every one of these self-obsessed philistines were completely engrossed in the conversation.  Yes I had to steep to below brow levels but the fuckers stopped checking their phones.  They made fucking eye contact!  They listened to what the other was saying and responded in kind and on fucking topic.  I never knew how bad shit had gotten until this very night.  Shit is bad people.  Shit is very bad.  These kids were so grateful to have an actual conversation with real, live human beings that I got hugs at the end of it all.  HUGS!  It was kind of amazing.  I felt like i shone a light into their brains, if only for a brief and sexy moment and gave them all a glimpse of the way things use to be or might of been or could be still.  It was illuminating and infuriating and immensely rewarding.  Goddamn.  What has happened?  I don't wonder now why we are so aptly called the "saddest generation".  We are in desperate need of one another and we choose to find connection through our technology.  Our technology should aid in our ability to connect not impede and than inevitably destroy it.  If anything, the axiom should be stated thusly: "Do everyone else until you reach bliss at the inevitable extinction of the self."  It's kinda long but I think it could catch on.  One could also call it Nirvana.  Let us strive to put all others before our own preoccupation with ourselves.  Let us feast on the delight that comes from placing another persons needs before our own.  Let's do each other (yup, ya heard me) until there's nothing left but a single celled organism with the capacity of inter-dimensional travel and spontaneous creation.  Let us all remove our eyeballs from our pocket computers long enough to hold eye contact with a fellow human over beers and whore talk!

That's what finally got them going.  Enough beer to choke a horse...and sex.  It's a start I suppose.  Perhaps, if I can stomach a next time, we'll broach current events or *gasp*, music.  Are we so removed from one another that there is no going back to a time of awkward silences and uncomfortable space?  I am too sad to elaborate on that thought...Happy Valentines Day.