I want to be an elephant.

Not just because they are beautiful, wise, majestic and massively awesome but because of how they have, over the centuries, grasped a concept absolutely foreign yet highly functional to man. Also, they are one of natures many brilliant species who appreciate a heftier woman...in fact it's nearly a must...the bigger they are, the more coveted they seem. A day in the life of these prehistoric packaderms is as follows: the female and male genders, get together, make sweet, sweet ginormous love and than the woman elephant proceeds to kick the male out of the herd altogether, once conception has occurred, of course. Brilliant...absolutely. You see, the females have learned over time(and being the type of gal that never forgets), that having the men involved in any part of the herd is actually overly detrimental to the evolution of the species as a whole. It seems the women grew weary of dealing with the males shit. Tired of handling all of the insecure, whiney, unsubstantiated nonsense that follows men around like a dark fart cloud. The female elephant decided a milennia ago that in order to stay alive and keep her future generations safe, that it was absolutely imperative she banish the men from the group. No more would she have to worry about what she was doing to piss off her man and therein wasting precious energy, time and intellect...no more fights about inconsequential things...no more jealousy, childish behavior over nothing and no longer would she have to subject herself to the onslaught of males lack of confidence or intelligence. She chose no longer to be witness to the battle between other males, the disruption and the chaos that ensues when a male screws around with your best friend right in front of the whole herd, than kills your child only to have another go at you. Woman elephants no longer had to worry about how silky there skin was, or how clean there trunks were because the element of competition was entirely removed. Take out the one difficulty an entire group is having and boom-bada-boom, peace takes precedence. The women realize that men do play a role, a very large role...how else could the species prevail without his massive elephant slong? Why they couldn't. But as effortlessly as it was to realize the magnitude of such a decision, women elephants went, "Screw this noise" and evicted the immaturity and selfishness right out the bush of the saranghetti. I think most society's could really prosper by adopting this practice. All that would be required is a large group of lesbians, some food for distraction and some select weaponry. Women know that when we get together, we have the capability of being supportive, accepting, efficient, intelligent problem solvers. We could maintain the species and promote evolution in one fail swoop. Also, you don't see females roaming through the forest, lost, hungry and searching for a sense of direction...we'd never be lost again. It's not as though the men would be any less off either. They would have other dudes to hang with, shit to still fight about I'm sure and the security of knowing, hey, my giant donkey dick really gets me action. If anyone knows some beefcake lesbots willing to set up a sweet society...send them my way.