Part 2

WAITING...WAITING...Waiting!!! So frustrated I forgot to capitalize. I spend, of my perhaps non-precious time, waiting for others so I may feel something other than negative emotions. I want to start my life. Always bated breath b/c my reliance on others is too goddamn consuming. Will I look back and regret everyday for i was living for someone else? So cynical! I run like the mouse...perpetually tired and aggravated. I miss, I want, I will. Or so I say. If I were ever to begin my life...would it be any more productive or meaningful than now? This very moment? Maybe that's why...I'm afraid that it won't. I long to be happy...myself, so I won't require so much of someone who doesn't even know my favorite color!!! Don't love someone who doesn't belong to you...like a puppy! I'm stoned

OKAY!!!

written many a year ago