is because I love cheese. It's true. I LOVE CHEESE! I will put cheese on or with any meal I am munching; and any type will do. All cheese is good cheese. Therein lies the one, true legitimate reason why we as human beings suffer. My attachment to cheese brings me great joy, and also causes me an ideal amount of pain. What happens when I go to the store and they are out of a particular delicious type of cheese I was craving? That would make me very sad. If I were not attached to the precious rotten dairy product or the outcome of it's very existence when I crave it...my life would be void of so much agony. The same goes for everything and anyone. Yes, cheese is awesome, but I would like to think that I pick my battles when screaming at poor under payed and over worked grocery clerks.
If I were not attached to how I felt about someones opinion of me, I would be spared a ridiculous amount of heart ache. There would be a lot less confusion, anger and silence in my relationship with, we'll call him JJ, if I could get past the fact that I am attached to how he feels about my every waking move. Why am I so attached to everything and how does it seem to happen without me? I honestly do not realize the state or sheer level of attachment I have reached until it is entirely too late and I've manifested some sort of emotional scene which usually ends in my crying somewhere dark and him angrily driving somewhere, anywhere other than where I am. Why do I choose to grip onto things and people? Can I experience no or less enjoyment if I didn't? I am positive that i wouldn't be so apt to freak out and push others away if i could just understand why I glom on and won't let go. Can I not enjoy cheese without being attached to it? I think there is a distinct difference btw liking something and being attached to it....to it's outcome of being available, or not. If the havarti I want is no longer available for the rest of my existence, I am sure i would forget all about its deliciousness and move on to something else, a nice gouda perhaps...so if I can let go eventually...why can't I let go in the moment, relinquish my need for control and accept the fact that attachment is only something I've born out of habit and insecurity...if only cheese wan't so damn awesome!
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